A Lesson

Recently I have been encouraging my husband to get a hobby. I seem to be out all the time doing something or other, whether it be bootcamp, scrapbooking, visiting, attending meetings of organizations for which I am a member, etc.

So, anyway, I've been encouraging Chris to get out and do something for himself. He took this to mean that he should get a dirt bike.

By doing something for himself, I had in mind maybe joining a men's league sports team or something like that. He thought I meant get a dirt bike.

This weekend he will be like a kid again as he takes his new dirt bike for a spin.

This, my friends, is why you should never assume that what you say and what men hear are even remotely close to the same thing!

Its here!

It's not finished and I'm not 100% happy with it yet but I do have a website up for my Doula Business.

Check it out here

I've also created a blog page for Belly to Birth for updates and to keep you all posted on how the business is going.

You can click on my link on the sidebar or go to http://bellytobirthdaoulacare.blogspot.com/

So, what do you think? I know its not ideal but for now it will hopefully get my info out there.

We have a bathroom again!

I seem to have forgotten to post the pictures of the completed bathroom reno. Oops.

It would have been done last month but *someone* (not me) shattered the glass door of the shower when putting the handle on and it was a 2 week wait to get a new one.

So, without further ado, here are the bathoom pics:

Before:

AFTER:

Shower:

Tub and floor:

At some point the green counter top will be replaced with something that matches a little better but it just wasn't in the budget for this time.

I am so lucky to have a handy husband that did the majority of the work on his own. Is it absolutely perfect? No. But, its ours and it is beautiful and it is functional. So, thank you to my wonderful husband. Even though it took *way* longer than I thought it should have, you worked hard and did a beautiful job. I love you!

(To see more photos of the reno in progress, go to my November 2009 posts in the archives. There were numerous bathroom related posts from then on.)

Belly to Birth Doula Care

So, I've decided on a business name and have made some business cards.





I'm so excited about what the future has in store for me as I venture into this new realm.



I am still accepting clients Pro Bono as I am working towards certification. If you or someone you know in the Calgary or Red Deer area are expecting and interested in a doula, contact me for more information.

Why Doula?

The past 3 days were amazing for me. I spent them in a fairly intense workshop for doula training. Its something I have been interested in for a while and I was so excited that everything just lined up and worked out for me to take the course. Chris was able to take Friday off to stay home with the boys, financially the money was there for the fees, and I was in the right state of mind, really ready, to do it.

What the heck is a doula, you ask? I had a misconception on what exactly the role of a doula was before I took this course. A few friends had hired doulas so I knew a little bit from them but still had the notion that doulas and midwives were essentially the same thing and that if you hired a midwife or doula you were turning your back on what the medical community has to offer.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that this is not the case at all. The medical community is still very much a part of the team and epidurals, other pharmacological interventions and cesareans all have their place.

The role of a doula is to provide emotional, physical and informational support to the labouring woman and her partner. What this means is that I will be there to answer any questions the couple may have, to keep her focussed during labour and to assist her in different labouring positions and comfort measures such as counter pressure or massage.

And as much as I am there for the woman, I am also a support person for the dad as well. A lot of dads have questions about whether the pain is normal, procedures, and a lot have a hard time seeing their loved on in pain and aren't sure how best to help. As a doula, I can guide the dad in ways that will assist his partner.

Research has shown that women who have a support person with them through birth to keep them focussed have shorter labours, less problems and less drug intervention than those without support. Breast feeding tends to be more successful in a mom that has had a more relaxed and focussed labour and delivery. Mothers who have had a support person also report higher satisfaction with their birth experience than those that did not have a support person present.

This research is really very fascinating - the support person does not necessarily have to say or do anything. In some cases, the mom has reported that just having someone there was enough to reassure them.

What a doula doesn't do are any clinical procedures such as exams to determine the woman's labour progress, fetal heart monitoring, blood pressure, etc. Nurses and doctors and midwives are trained and licensed to do those things, I am not. I have no part in the actual delivery of the baby except to encourage mom and to keep her focussed.

Another important role of a doula is to photograph the process for the couple (however they want that done) as well as writing a birth story for the family as a keepsake. Oh, how I would have loved to have photos of the birth of my boys and the moments immediately after. I did write birth stories for my boys but as the woman in labour, you tend to forget some things or not even realize other things are happening. It would be interesting to read about the birth from another point of view.

So, where do I go from here?

I have taken the course and now to be certified by DONA International (Doulas of North America) I must attend at least 3 births (FREE if you are interested!) and submit summaries of those births as well as complete a required reading list and write an essay. Then I will be a certified doula with DONA and as such gives me more support and credibility in the field. I can still work as a trained doula in the meantime.

When I began the course I wasn't 100% sure that it was what I wanted to do, but there was only 1 way to find out. Now having taken the course I am completely sure that I want to assist women in labour and can't wait to get started!

I'm so excited about this new opportunity that I have chosen for my life! I could go on and on and on about the incredible amount of information that I learned this weekend but I won't. If anyone is interested in more, I'd be more than happy to share with you!

My question for you -
What was your labour experience(s) like? What could have made it better (if anything)? What do you wish happened that didn't? What do you wish didn't happen?

I ask these to try to understand better what women percieve their birth experiences to be like.

He's done it!

Victory!!!!

Finally, Luca is potty trained!

This week has been amazing - not even 1 pair of poopy underwear!!! Woo hoo!!!

Thanks in part to Suzanne at The Potty Bootcamp . When she offered to send me her ebook, I was thrilled and so full of hope that there would be something new to try.

I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed upon receiving it because there was nothing new to us in there. BUT, reading about her methods made me realize that perhaps we weren't being forceful enough in following through with our attempts.

Before Christmas I had heard from a friend of a friend that they made their child stay in the bathroom until she pooped and that this was what worked for her. We did try it, without success. Thinking back, I now realize that we didn't wait long enough before letting him come out, thinking he just didn't have to go.

So, last Monday we decided to try this again as a last resort after having read about it in Suzanne's book. One thing that Suzanne suggested was to tell Luca that it was the doctor that said it was time to stop pooping in his pants and that he had to stay in the bathroom until he went on the toilet. At first I didn't think that this would make a difference, but then I thought about it and realized that if he didn't think it was us that was telling him to poop, he wouldn't have us to rebel against. And, that is pretty much the root of the problems we were facing with Luca- he wanted to do the opposite of what we wanted him to do.

So, after giving him the "doctor said so" speech and sending him to the bathroom, all we could do was wait. There was crying and wailing on Luca's part. We didn't engage him, just let him vent. Eventually he realized we weren't going to budge and after a loooooonnnnnggggg time, he finally sat on the toilet and pooped!

We're talking hours here. The kid ate a sandwich in the bathroom. Just remembering it gives me the willies. Ewwww. BUT, he was NOT coming out until he pooped and we meant business.

The next day it was going to be the same routine - eat breakfast, go into the bathroom until he went. I was delighted when after only half an hour he pooped!

And the best part? He was SO proud of HIMSELF!!!! He knew at this point that he could do it. That day continued with him going 3 more times (he's a mega pooper, many times a day). By the end of the day he was self initiating and just going on his own.

5 days later, I think it is safe to say that he is potty trained! He has been feeling the urge to go and heading to the bathroom himself. And all those times he had to clean himself up after pooping in his pants has made him a pretty experienced bum wiper too! I hardly have to help at all! At least that paid off....

Along with being freed from "poopy jail" he also got a big prize. A Leapster console and game had been sitting on our mantle for the last week, in plain sight, begging to be played with. Luca knew he had to poop to get it. He also knows that if he doesn't continue pooping on the toilet that the Leapster will go back up on the mantle. So far, no accidents.

I feel so much better now. My excitement and pride is just overflowing. I didn't realize how many feelings I had tied up in this debacle. Not just frustration at him but anger, disappointment and feelings of failure in my parenting. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I know that there will be accidents but knowing that it won't be a repeating event day after day is so exhilirating.

I know, exhilirating is a strong word - that's how happy I am about this!

Now its Levi's turn......

My Sister

Today is my sister's 24th Birthday.

She is the beautiful Bride in this photo of me and my sisters.

She is one of my best friends and I love her to pieces. Gorgeous inside and out, she has a compassion that exceeds most and determination that you don't want to get in the way of.

She is a great mother and one of the 2 best sisters I could ever ask for.

Happy Birthday Jessica!

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.

~Barbara Alpert

Killer in our midst

This morning at MOPS we had a speaker about Heart Health, being that it is February and is Heart Health Awareness month. Besides striking us all with fear, she really drove home the point that we need to take charge of our health and be advocates for our health care, prevention and treatment.

The woman that spoke suffered heart failure at the age of 38, while she was in the delivery room with her first child. She was lucky to be in the hospital and monitored and was able to be helped. She ended up having a quadruple bypass surgery, with 90% blockages in her main arteries.

She had no idea.

She had felt some symptoms but always brushed them off as something else, as we often do. Little did she know that she was harbouring a killer within her body.

1 in 4 women will develop heart disease.

More women will be diagnosed with heart disease than breast cancer.

Heart disease is the #1 killer of women. Most don't know they have it until the day they die.

Heart disease is hereditary, passed on from the mother's side. This sent chills up my spine, as both of my maternal grandparents suffered from and ultimately passed away from heart disease.

Her story is really incredible, you can go to her foundation's website, The Kelly Heart Foundation to read more or to find out where you can help.


Here is another touching website of an infant that passed away suddenly only days into her life due to a heart defect that was unkown. It could have been tested for before she left the hospital but the test isn't mandatory. Read about their cause here:
Cora's story

I came across this article today about heart health in women.

The statistics are really alarming.

Please, schedule regular visits with your doctor and advocate for yourself to get the necessary testing, especially if there is any hereditary connection to heart disease or cancer.

WOW

I just read a post on another blog that has touched me so deeply that I had to share not only here but on Facebook and via email to everyone I know.

This is seriously one of the most amazing, well written, awe inspiring, tear jerking stories I have ever read. I have no idea who this family is - it was a link passed on to me by a friend and I am passing it on as well.

Sometimes I feel guilty about getting to read such intimate parts of the lives of strangers through the blogosphere, but I honestly believe that this is a story just begging to be shared.

Be prepared. You will cry. You will be moved. You will be cheering this family on as they embark on this journey.

Get ready for your life to be jolted a little bit.

Ready?

Go here to read about the beautiful and perfect Nella that is going to do big things.

Working Moms

Once again, I am not bothering to write my own post but am stealing from a good friend.

She has a great post about how tough it can be to be a working mom; having to figure out all the logistics of work, kids, drop offs and pick ups, maintaining a home, etc.

And then the issue of emergencies...

Yesterday Dee, my best friend and dayhome provider had to go into the doctor due to what turned out to be a tear in her cornea or something like that. Very painful and not good for vision!

Luckily I was subbing at the virtual school and there were no students in the building in the afternoon and was able to leave quickly to collect my kids from the various friends' houses that they had been farmed off to while Dee went to the optometrist.

Yesterday afternoon made me very thankful for friends that are willing to open their homes to extra kids at a moment's notice. But it also made me consider the struggles that we, as working moms have compared to dads.

It also reminded me that we are so fortunate to live in a small town where we are friends with enough people and comfortable with those people to call on them in times of need.

Without further ado, please head over to my dear friend Julianne's blog and read her article on working moms.

Holy Crap! Literally!

So, after my last post on our poop woes, I got this comment and am so excited about it!!!

"Hi...sorry for your frustration! I'm the author of a book entitled 'The Potty Boot Camp'. In my book (not $40, I promise you!...it's only $5.95) I have a chapter dedicated to this topic. I'd love to send you a complimentary copy of the eBook if you're interested to see if we might have even one 'new' idea you haven't tried. Let me know and I'll send it over! Contact me at suzanne@thepottybootcamp.com .

Good luck - and know you're not alone! This is a very common potty training problem. You might also want to check out my blog at http://thepottybootcamp.blogspot.com - just type 'poop' into the search box at the top left to find the poop articles :)

Warmly,
Suzanne Riffel"


I've since been to her blog and have spent a considerable amount of time reading through her questions and answers and actually have a glimmer of hope that she may have a method that will work!

I'll keep you all posted on how it goes!

Please, please, please let this be the one to work!!!!!

The Poop Chronicles

If you've been following me for a while, you know about the issues with poop and Luca that have plagued us for....

.....wait for it.......

....here it comes.....

.....nearly A YEAR!!!

Yup. He's been pee trained since March of 2009. The beginning of March.

The kid REFUSES to use the toilet to do his #2 business.

I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!!!!

Countless hours on google, talking to friends, parents, grandparents, etc. Nothing has proven sucessful.

Seriously, I DARE YOU to come up with a strategy that I have not tried. Seriously. Try me. You name it, we've tried it.

I even paid one of those internet "potty train your child in 3 days" ebooks that charge like $40 that claim 100% success. Well, they have to change their success rate because it DID NOT work for us. And I did EXACTLY as it said to do.

About a week ago I had just had it. I was in tears most of the day, and the river of tears came more fiercely each time I had to clean crap out of underwear that day (that day's tally- 5). A friend offered to take Luca for a few days to see if the change of scenery (a different adult that he wasn't super comfortable with) would help things. And being with her 3 year old twins that have been potty trained for quite some time couldn't hurt, either.

Day 1 of "poopy bootcamp" as I dubbed it went like this:

-T and her kids and Luca chatted about things big kids do (zipping zippers - which Luca did not know how to do but came home knowing!, getting dressed, pooping on the toilet, etc).

-After an entire day there, no poop whatsoever. I knew as soon as we got home he'd let go.

-But, no, he held it all day and all night.

Day 2:

-I get a phone call from Luca to tell me he pooped on the toilet! Horray!!! I allowed myself to let that little glimmer of hope shine through.

-Luca got to go to the preschool with T to get her kids and got to have a tour of the school. He was pretty impressed ang thought it looked pretty neat. The teacher told him that he could come when he pooped on the toilet every day. He seemed to buy it and was pretty excited and told Daddy about it when he got home.

(Sidenote: that morning when I was taking him to T's I reminded him that the twins were at school for the morning and would be home at lunchtime. He asked if he could go to school with them and I said not until he pooped on the toilet every day. To this he replied "I'll just go to another school then.")

- Within 20 minutes of being home he informed me he had pooped. Sigh. We went to the bathroom, where I discovered that he wasn't quite finished (TMI, I know) and he asked me to help him sit on the toilet. I helped him and he finished his business and was so proud of himself. We had a little celebration and talked about how easy it was and how happy we all were.

Day 3:

For reasons I won't go into, Luca did not go to T's for the 3rd and final day of poop bootcamp.

He pooped in his pants 4 times today.

I am SO TIRED of cleaning up poopy underwear. I feel defeated. I don't know what else to do. I'm angry. I'm done.

So, if anyone has a suggestion that works that I haven't yet tried and it results in Luca being fully trained, I will award you a BIG prize. I don't know what it will be yet, but it will be BIG, I promise!

Some background:

-This is NOT a medical issue. Luca has sensation and control. A few examples:

• when bottomless, he will find a pull-up or underwear to put on to poop in requiring not only sensation but the ability to hold it until such a time as he is wearing something on his bum to poop into.
• He can and will hold it all day
• Once when I could see that he very badly had to go and it was coming, I took him to the toilet and made him sit there for an hour or more and he HELD IT IN (even though it was RIGHT THERE) until only moments after I had given up and let him put his underwear back on
• He will say that he knows how to poop on the toilet and that he just likes to poop in his pants

And now, a few rules:

• You MAY NOT say to me that he will one day just "get it". I've heard this a thousand times from well meaning people and it does nothing but frustrate me more. I've been doing this for almost a year, people! Surely you'd think that his one day of getting it would have come by now!
• You MAY NOT criticize my efforts or my son. I do that enough for all of us, thank you.
• I promise to try any suggestions that are new or innovative, but like I said, I've tried everything I can find.

Let the competition begin and potty train my child before he is fitted for a colostomy bag and trained to empty it himself!!!

FUN!

You may notice some aesthetic changes to my blog. I came across thecutestblogontheblock.com and wasted far too much time this afternoon checking out all the fun stuff I can get FOR FREE for my blog.
I have a feeling I will be changing my backgrounds as often as I change my clothes (ok, maybe not that often) because there were so many adorable backgrounds on that site.
So, if you're looking to change it up a bit, head over there and see what you might see. The nice thing is that it gives you directions on just what to do to change your blog.

Have fun!

Family Photos

You may remember this post about me winning a photo shoot. It took a while to actually nail down a date to get them done because Old Man Winter kept screwing with our plans but we were able to get our pictures done a few weeks ago.

I am super excited to pick up the disk tomorrow from Leanne and see the rest of the pics but for now, head over to her blog to get a sneak peek!

Q & A postponed

For you 4 that asked a question and are awaiting your answers, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I have to postpone til tomorrow or maybe even Sunday. Its been a long, tiring week and I'm just not feeling it.

Sorry my 4 curious friends! :)

Should you have a burning question and want to get in on it, ask away!

Answers!

Last week I gave the opportunity for you to ask me anything and I would answer. So, here goes....

Raelene said...
I have 2 boys as well, and people always ask me if I want to try again, and see if I get a girl. Do you wish you had a girl? Do you want more kids?

More kids? HA! No, seriously, I always thought that I wanted 4 but now that I have 2, I know that this is what I can handle. Plus, we want to be able to give our kids things that having 4 wouldn't financially allow us to do as soon as we would like (ie: Disneyland). Its kinda weird. When you are done, you just know. And I know in every fibre of my being that I am done. When I see a brand new baby I don't get that longing in the pit of my stomach like I did before we had Levi. Now when I see a new baby I think "Oh, so sweet, so tiny. So glad its not mine!" LOL

I would have loved a girl, but we got boys and I love having boys too. Girl stuff is so pretty and cute and all, but hey, I don't have to deal with all the peaks and valleys of teenage hormonal craziness!

The Tompkins Family said...
What's your most hated household chore? And one you enjoy? (if there is one!)


I really, really, really hate to wash dishes by hand. We didn't have a dishwasher growing up (my parents live in the country and there wasn't enough water pressure from the well to run one properly) and so that was the main chore shared between me and my sisters. We fought. We argued. We manipulated to get out of doing dishes. I will do them now when I have to, but let me be honest, I put everything that I possibly can into the dishwasher!

I actually quite enjoy vacuuming. Don't know why, I just do. Maybe the fact that I can't hear the kids fighting when I'm vacuuming....;)

CanadianMama said...
Okay, I want to know how you met your hubby and how you and Dee came to be friends and how your husband's came to be best friends LOL. Seems to like a tv show or something :)
Ok, well.....
Chris and I went to high school together. We weren't what you would call High School Sweethearts though. We did "go out" for a short while when we were both in school but it didn't last long. He was a grade ahead of me so while he was away at his first year of post-secondary we remained friends and right at the end of my Grade 12 year we started dating again and the rest they say is history. We will have been together 11 years this May and married 8 this coming September.

Dee and I met on moving in day at Augustana University College in our first year there. We lived directly across the hall from eachother in residence. We were friends then but actually didn't become close until the following year and each year following we became closer and closer. Now we are like sisters. Dee was my Maid of Honor in my wedding.

Layne and Dee got married in July 2004, where I was one of her bridesmaids. Chris and Layne didn't really become friends (other than knowing eachother through their wives) until September 2005 when Layne came to work at the same company Chris did. Turns out that Chris was the one to train Layne so they spent many long days together driving and got to know eachother. It didn't take too long and they were friends independent of Dee and I.

We are so fortunate to have a relationship like we do -where all 4 of us are friends, not just the wives being friends and the husbands just getting along. A once in a lifetime friendship, that's for sure.

Also, do you think you will go back to teaching full-time when Levi is in school?


Teaching full time when Levi is older. Now that is the million dollar question. Honestly I don't know. All I ever wanted to do was teach, then I did and I don't know anymore. I guess my priorities changed when I became a mom and the additional work and pressure involved in teaching is just really hard to balance with having a young family. The more I sub, the more I realize that I do miss aspects of teaching full time (like developing relationships with the kids and seeing them grow and change over the year(s) ).
But, I did have a really challenging year the year I was pregnant with Levi and the memory of that has tainted my view of being a part of a school staff full time. Hopefully with time that will change.
So, the short answer is " I just don't know."

Writer Mom said...
How are your Tuesday and Friday assignations coming along? :)"
Ok, well, this might be TMI but let's just say that scheduling time with your significant other when you have small children is a must. It has definitely made a change in our relationship! And I'll leave it at that. ;)

I love this lady!

I went out for supper with some friends last night and we had some really good conversations about motherhood and womanhood and all the good and bad that falls between.

I was going to write about insecurities that we as women and mothers experience, but my friend beat me to the punch. And again, hers is waaayyyyy better than the way I was going to write it so once again I am going to just steal her thoughts.

Check out her post about our vulnerabilities here.

I may never need to write a blog post again now that she's a blogger and writes so well! :)

Mmmmmm, cookies!

Head on over to Picky Palate's blog to enter a great giveaway for a cookie cookbook!

Makes me want to go find some cookies! I'm sure I have some in my freezer...

5 Question Friday

Head over to Mama M's blog to participate.

1. What is better, growing old with out money or dying young and wealthy?

Obviously growing old without money. I'd much rather spend a long life with my family than to miss out on all the events of their lives by dying young with tons of money. This one's a no-brainer for me.

2. Who takes out the garbage at your house?

Usually me. Mostly because I am the one that remembers that it is garbage day. Chris is getting better at helping out in this area though.

3. Have you ever had the same dream many times?

Yes, when I was younger I often would dream that I was at my Grandma and Grandpa's house in Red Deer and the giant dog from The Neverending Story was chasing me. That's about all I remember but I was always scared when I woke up. Weird, I know.

4. Can you play a musical instrument?

I played flute in Jr. High and can still play a little bit. I've always wanted to learn to play piano. Now that I have my grandmother's in our living room, it calls to me to learn. Currently it is used for our boys to give concerts on.

5. If you owned your own store, what would you sell?

Easy question. My dream is to open a children's book store. I have many ideas floating around in my head to make it a unique store that kids would hopefully want to come to and parents too! Maybe someday I will see this as a reality.

Friday Night Leftovers

• Its been a long week. Emotionally and in terms of laundry. Luca and I are still battling the poop war. More to come on this saga soon - it definitely warrants its own post.
• I subbed in Kindergarden twice this week in the same class. Its a class I really enjoy, I have been there ofetn enough now that I know all the kids by name and the classroom routines. It kinda, almost, sorta, maybe a teensy weensy little bit made me get a small urge to one day return to teaching full time. But only a little bit. We'll see what the future holds.
• Levi has been biting. Luca never had this problem so I am new to the biting game. Suggestions anyone?
• Last weekend Loki caught her rear flank on somethign (we have NO IDEA what) and tore a gash in her side. After being grossed out whenever I looked at her, it is finally starting to scab over and heal. Now I can snuggle by dear dog again without feeling nauseous. Before you think that we did nothing about this gash but let it be, let me just say that we did treat it, but she continued licking it (even with a cone on- she was very determined and found away around it) so it took a little while to dry out enough to scab.
• I really, really, really hope that this will be the last post that I say that the bathroom is almost done. Scheduled for this weekend is the installation of the shower door and glass wall as well as the bathroom door. That's IT!
• Chris is heading North next week for a few days and I am scheduled to work all week at the high school in town. Plus bootcamp Tuesday and Thursday and stamping club on Wednesday. Its going to be busy! So if I don't post next week, you'll know why!
• For the first time in a long time, my house is very clean. I was so frustrated with the Luca/ Poop / disobedience saga yesterday that I put all that aggressive energy into scrubbing toilets and tubs. So, after a few hours and 4 toilets and 2 tubs, I felt a little better. And the house looked a little better too!
• Bootcamp kicked my butt, quite literally, yesterday. My shoulders and glutes are so sore today. I almost had to teach kindergarden with bed head because my arms DID NOT want to reach up to the top of my head. But, for fear of scaring the 5 year olds, I managed to pull my hair back into a ponytail.
• This weekend I have a surprise in store for Chris. Well, the beginnings of a Valentine's surprise, anyway. Stay tuned for details! Also a ladies night out with a few friends Sarturday night and hopefully my parents are coming on Sunday. My dad is on his week off from work and we haven't seen him in a while. Its snowing a bit here now so hopefully the roads are ok by then.

If you want to take part in Friday Night Leftovers, head to Sippy Cups and add your name to Mr. McLinky!