For the past month or so, I have been struggling with why I doula. Should I continue? Is it something that I should do?
These doubts came up because it seemed that I wasn't getting clients when fellow doulas were getting them in droves. Clients that I met with that I thought had made a connection with me hired others. After a few of these situations, it really took a toll on me and I started to doubt myself and question my choice.
Then I attended the birth of a wonderful friend. Being there for the first breaths of a new life reminded me why I love what I do and why I am going to trudge through the tough times to get to the busy times.
Even still though, there was a niggling voice that came up every now and then that made me doubt myself. You see, the most recent birth that I attended was very fast and I wasn't allowed in the room until the mama was admitted, which was also at the pushing stage.
I was so frustrated and felt like I had let my cleint and friend down by not being there while she went through hard labour (no fault of my own- hospital policy. I was, in fact, waiting outside the doors to the L&D unit). Even after her affirmations that hiring me was worth it, I still wondered "was it really? Did I really do anything that she couldn't have done without me?"
Then this evening, I am told to read this post.
Go there now....
I cried. It did my heart good.
I am a doula because I want to be. Because there is nothing in this world like welcoming a new baby into the world. I will get through this slow period and my day will come that I am as busy as my cohorts.
I am a doula and I love it with every fibre in me.
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5 comments:
Great post - honest and true. It's always hard to start out doing something new. There is a period of time where you worry that it won't take off, and then, if you love it as much as you love being a doula, it does.
I think this period of waiting and worrying will help you as a doula, even though it sucks badly at the time. Hang in there, friend. You were born to do this job, and you are exceptional at it.
You are amazing.
I think you would be a wonderful doula. And I hope you remember why you are one... because you love to help women bring babies into this world... once, twice, a million times, you do it because you love to.
Keep your chin up, the people will come!
I want you to know I didn't write those things because I wanted to make you feel better (that was just an added bonus). I wrote them because they are true. I don't know how I will ever repay you for the support you provided to myself and my family. I'm a lucky woman indeed to have you as a friend and to have had you as a doula!
That is amazing!
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